Rough stuff indeed!  

The main initial impression I get from this piece, is confusion. Some of that is good – after all, the character himself is confused – but I feel there’s a bit too much of it, and it doesn’t all follow a coherent train of thought. Some of the things that I’d have thought would be a big deal (Tom is naked, he’s in a forest?) are accepted very quickly. I swung back and forth several times between thinking he’s suddenly found himself in this forest, or whether he knowingly went to sleep there and the confusion is just from waking.

“ …it has been the better part of the night since he fell asleep…” – perhaps emphasise here that his last memories are of him going to sleep at home in his own bed, not on the forest floor.

I think you can do a lot more with the senses here too. If he’s woken up in a forest, naked, there’ll be dead leaves, pine needles, mud, etc, stuck to his skin. If it’s night, he’ll be cold, perhaps covered by a coating of dew. Dawn means birdsong, a rustling of animals. Showing things like that will follow Tom’s realisation of the setting, without the jerky thought process that’s tough to follow. Save the thoughts for the things you can’t easily show – his memories of a normal life.

I’d like to ask, what is your goal with this piece?

The strongest theme I get hints of is Tom’s struggle with dark desires, that manifest themselves against his knowledge as this other personality.

Has this happened before? (Although obviously not with these consequences). That would explain some of how he doesn’t seem too taken aback to wake in a very strange place.

How did the other Tom manage to kidnap Arnold and get him to the forest?

There’s hints here that I really like – Tom recognises the knot, he’s physically fit (enough to drag another man all this way?).  I think it needs just a little bit more though to round off the whole thing – perhaps Tom remembers going for a walk in this forest some days/weeks ago, perhaps he remembers there’s a track not far away, a place to park a car. Just a little more to make it all much more plausible.

Another question I’m left with is what has he done to Arnold? (Other than kidnap him, strip him naked, and tie him up in a forest.)

The implication is that Arnold is taking his revenge like for like – but that doesn’t fit with how Arnold isn’t described as injured at all. There’s hints at some dark and sexual practices, but not quite enough that it makes sense. I don’t mean it should be described in detail, but perhaps some suggestive bruising, or something more in Arnold’s dialogue that would clear things up?

All in all though, there’s a lot of potential here for an interesting exploration into mental illnesses as well as a rough but gripping tale. Once things get going, the descriptions are emotive and hold together well. You walk a fine balance and manage to get across that feeling of horror without resorting too much to descriptions of gore which would cheapen the whole thing.  That last paragraph