deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Deviant Artist Member AspiredWriterMale/Israel Group :iconhow-do-i: #How-Do-I
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 239 Deviations 3,625 Comments 10,162 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

a part of story i had written

Favourites

Critiques

by ~Allantiee

ok, here's a small tidbit of what i think. not great with visual art so i'll give it my best shot. one thing that bothers me here is t...


first off i must point out that i'm not that knowledgable with visual art however i'll put my two cents in here. that thing on the rig...


well i don't know how this was before the edit (if you edited anything more than that one word) however you managed to show the event ...

Critiques i have given out

Groups

Watchers

:typerhappy:

April has arrived and with it two writing goals to reach :eager: :

:bulletgreen: Script Frenzy - write a hundred page script in 30 days

:bulletblue: NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) - write a poem every day of April (30 total)

so here I shall be updating my progress throughout the month:

01. Script Frenzy pages = 2 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: New John McGeeAround a jolly town
there was a troubled youth
his head was always down;
his manner's like a sleuth

The town had grown a lot
through all his childhood years
but John McGee did not
his soul was full of tears

He never joined in play
he never toiled or learned
and every day by day
for death forever yearned

And then there came his twin
that no one knew he had
although this new found kin
refused to see the bad

Then John had disappeared
his twin now took his place
he never ever feared
and always kept up pace

And no one realized
this wasn't little John
they all were much surprised
the changes he had shown

And to these very days
old John improv


02. Script Frenzy pages = 2 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: TogetherHow does the world go on?
why does the sun shine on?
why air still fills my lungs,
while evilness does spawn?

And hand in hand they stride
a couple filled with pride
thus carry on the twine
while we, our time thus bide

The angel - demon duo
no other love is truer
the bad cop good cop trick
makes us all look up to her

And she sits high above
and judges hate and love
and we to talk to her
will trample, curse and shove

Everyone tries to kill the bad
even if a tad
but alas the demon,
the angel'll never strand

The angel will defend
the demon to the end
so take the bad with good
and to the bad contend.


03. Script Frenzy pages = 2 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Free ReignAnd so it was one day,
humanity moved on;
abandoning the world.
Now everyone had gone.

Now, back on earth there was
an extraordinary mouse.
Trevor was his name;
he lived in Franklin's house.

When Franklin went away,
he poked his long snout out.
The empty scented air
had filled the tyke with doubt.

He wondered where they'd gone.
He made to search the house;
the garden, too, he searched
the little brave old mouse.

His search had turned up dry.
He went back home to pack,
and then he hit the streets;
a bag strapped to his back.

At first he met a cat.
He hid behind a shoe.
He didn't want to soothe
the old cat's hunger.

At last he gritted his


04. Script Frenzy pages = 2 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: LifeThe hustle and bustle
restrain the thought;
dissolve emotion.

These sections of life
with fun are bought
unwind to nothing.

The action laden times
the chatter filled hours
make life happen.

So what is life?
For both cannot be
at any one moment.


05. Script Frenzy pages = 2 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: FallingThere fell a fruit
onto the ground
and time had stripped
the flesh around
along then came
one day a horse
irate and strong
it kicked with force
he hit the pit
in his old way
it rose high up
and soared away

There fell the pit
on muddy ground
secluded shore
that none have found
so hard it dropped
into soft dirt
it bore on deep
no trace shown
and so it stayed
until such time
that water comes
to quench its thirst

There fell the rain
onto the shore
it washed the earth
and seeped into soil
and then the pit
had drank its fill
and sprung wide open
revealing treasures within
it grew for years
into a tree
a mighty tree
to watch over the sea

There fe


06. Script Frenzy pages = 3 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Past, Present and FutureIt was a time of grief
so many throbbing things
have wrought unearthly pain
a thousand thorns and pins

It is a time of change
so many things amend
the hurt that once had grown
now come to highway's end

There'll come a time of glee
where happiness shall spread
like fire through the trees
I'll break free from my head.


07. Script Frenzy pages = 3 , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: The SurvivorAll was dark.
Pain had throbbed
through body whole,
yet I survive.

And all around
the wreckage shown;
then people came
and I was torn.

They said that I
unscathed had been,
but death, I know
had been unseen.

Her face wouldn't leave;
her voice still cried,
and no one knew
that I had died.

They've spoken words;
all dressed in black,
but deed was done
can't take it back.

They marveled I
had not a scratch.
They told me I
should never latch

on, they said;
go on with life,
in time, forget
about your wife.

They said she'd gone
to better lands.
They said no one
forever stands.

To wait for years,
they said I should,
but I knew she
was g


08. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: TogetherThe hidden sky
could cry today.
I've left my home;
I came to stay,

until someone
will make me go.
I'm here for now;
no choice, I know.

No more alone;
my roommates, here.
A hundred packed
like sheep and deer.

So many men,
so many boys,
and babies too
make so much noise.

I cannot sleep,
can only cry.
Afraid to stay;
afraid to die.

They say I shall,
when no more use
am I to them.
Won't cut me loose.

So here I stay
with labor pains.
There's no way out
but with the trains.

They come and take
us all away,
and none return
until this day.

And naked we
that train then board.
And so I cry
to heaven's lord:

Should this be it
for me tod


09. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: GhostYou stand in groups
and talk with joy.
You see me not;
I'm way too coy.

Afraid I am
to head your way.
I am alone
and so I'll stay,

for I'll be gone.
You'll miss me not,
for you won't know
I was about.


10. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: WrathYou'd better heed
this warning fast
there'll be no more
it is the last.

You're in my face
you must step back
and evermore
you watch your back.

You push me 'till
all limits break
I here and now
no more can take.

Now lava flows
and scorches all
it'll burn you raw
away now crawl.

I've reached the end
can take no more
no longer friend
now I'm a foe.

You'd better heed
this warning fast
there'll be no more
it is the last.


11. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Eyes SeeEyes see, water falls
into pools of light.
Wispy clouds sail above
slick and fluffy white.
Body is far away.

Ears hear, waves break
lapping onto beach.
Whistling wind streams by
blowing out of reach.
Body is far away.

Nose smells, mowed grass
and the scent of pine.
Homemade apple pie
wafts warm and fine.
Body is far away.

Tongue tastes, chocolate cake
luscious sweet delight.
Stomach full of gems
stems the appetite.
Body is far away.
Skin feels, smooth skin
lover's arms around.
Smooth and pleasant texture
of soft and silky gown.
Body is far away.

Mind melts, images fade away
and smells and sounds.
And so do taste and touch
no longer found.


12. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: DriftingHe drifted into town;
upon his face, a frown.
All on his own, he'd stay;
to leave he didn't delay.
Desired to be far,
he got back in his car.
Post haste he drove away,
and now he is okay.


13. Script Frenzy pages = 4   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: The WriterHe sits back down to write
with rhyming in his head
about a writer who
has written more than read
and as he types the words
this writer leaves his seat
to stretch out stiffing limbs
for just a quickened beat


14. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Make Time GoThe time is six o'clock
the world is dank and dark
to go back home I want
instead, the day I start
and what a dismal day
I can't go on this way
but nonetheless I keep
at work instead of sleep
the hours come and pass
but now I see alas
the clocks all me betray
five minutes went away
the time is 6:05
how will I, this, survive?
the knife I pull on out
without a shred of doubt
and slit my wrists this way
and thus shall end today.


15. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: ColorsBlue and white flowers,
fall from sky in showers.
Upon the world they smile,
if only for a while.

Pink fuzzy cotton
covers friendly mutton.
They, from the shadows flee,
and bounce around with glee.

Orange cupcakes pour
on top of piles more.
The world can share the lot,
and hunger they will not.

Black birds specked with white.
They scatter, peck and bite,
'till cupcakes are no more,
then into sky they soar.

Orange cupcakes rain again,
now that their hunger's slain.
And all the rest do feast;
fish, animal and beast.

Pink mutton feast their eyes,
as mountains grow and rise.
They bounce around and bleat,
too full of zest to eat.

B


16. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: There'll Come A TimeThere'll come a time
when color and rhyme
and game play and fun
the world they will run

There'll come a day
when people won't pray
There'll be no more doubt
all will be figured out

There'll come an hour
when greed and power
will be forgotten
instead of gotten

There'll come an instance
when borders and distance
will disappear
with war and fear

There'll come a time


17. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Ghost ShipUpon a great big ship
a man went for a dip
he took off all his clothes
and people came in troves
to watch as he turned tail
and leapt over the rail
he made a mighty splash
but got a monster gash
across his hand and finger
and sharks that wouldn't linger
came now that he was bleeding
prepared to have their feeding
and him indeed they ate
and sought another bait
they banged against the ship
and forced the hull to tip
and now more bodies fell
and were eaten as well
until no one remained
and so there came the end
amidst the mist and frost
the empty craft was lost
but every then and now
a mast with sails and bow
from clouds of mist appear
no one


18. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: The Brown TreeA special seed fell
and very strange as well
it bore into the ground
on top of little mound

A stem had sprouted fast
but this form didn't last
it grew leaves bark and fruit
like it was in pursuit

And flowers tough and big
grew out of every twig
but brown were leaf and fruit
and flowers followed suit

Around colors galore
and vivacious more
was every other tree
as if in mock and glee

The brown tree was all sad
and felt that he was bad
when people came around
it asked to be cut down

They took a closer look
and leaf and fruit they took
and smiles replaced dismay
for chocolate were they

The brown tree now was proud
and yelled and called alou


19. Script Frenzy pages = 3   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Brand New DeathRunning down the hall
careful not to fall
make it in the room
feeling hope and doom

Crying wretched tears
screaming off my ears
pain sharp and intense
no more innocence

Out of tunnel hole
blood covers the whole
pokes a creature small
not crying now at all

A screech that scratches heart
and we shall never part
then in my arms it's put
my baby is kaput


20. Script Frenzy pages = 13   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: FateIn the hour of need
we run at full speed
no direction at all
just so that we don't fall

They say that good things
come to those that will wait
so what tomorrow brings
in the form of our fate?

I may never know
what will lie ahead
so I climb into bed
and just wait 'till I grow


21. Script Frenzy pages = 13   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: To war!To war! To fight!
We thrive on fear of might
it is our one delight
the safety in our night

Revenge, you always seek
you flourish on the weak
you like it grim and bleak
and slave to havoc wreak

And peace shall never be
between us, you and me
the future I can see
we'll never quite agree


22. Script Frenzy pages = 13   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: SurvivalAcross a yellow moon
that rises high at noon
a mist of deepest blue
shall grow and thicken soon.

Until the moon no more
will shine upon a shore
the sea should storm and it
will show just like before.

The misty blue will fade
and change its hue and shade.
Descend on earth it shall
until on ground it's laid.

Then from the depth of sea
to ground and up a tree
a figure fair and sweet
shall climb until it's free.

Into the sky it'll streak
divine and strong and sleek
and make the young trees grow
pine, Maple, Yew and Teak.

The forest thus shall rise
from earth up to the skies.
They'll reach the yellow moon
and stop their own demise.

The, now,


23. Script Frenzy pages = 15   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Flavor Of LoveSour grapes shall ruin all
because of them the world shall fall
they won't rest 'till all is dead
now earth does walk the thinnest thread

So bitter tastes this glum outlook
but newfound hope, shall write the book
the pages turn as words thus show
new and shiny they do glow

Spice of life is all they are
bear in their midst a wishful star
that shines from high and lights the way
never will die won't let us sway

Salt of the earth is stronger still
before destruction comes they will
the hope ignite to warm our heart
new kindness, progress, passion and art

Sweet is their work upon our mind.
Believe in them and you shall find
the world is grand


24. Script Frenzy pages = 15   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: True LoveYou said that you
had loved another
and thus my heart
you've torn asunder

And though my darkness
lost its light
for you and I shall
I not fight

Your happiness
is all I want
to see my tearing
eyes you shan't

So go post haste
and don't return
I will not have you
see me burn

And though I will
forever roam
I hope your heart
will find its home

For all I've lost
void is my life
goodbye for good
my darling wife


25. Script Frenzy pages = 15   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Release The FearTo fly away
to disappear
to flow and sway
to flee from here

To climb and stop
to crest be bound
to be on top
to look around

To sail the seas
to float around
to be at peace
to not be found

To be alive
to smile with glee
to joy to strive
to happy be


26. Script Frenzy pages = 15   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Summer Is HereUnder the smiling sun
and blue clear skies
a rainbow glows dim
reminding of rain that's gone

Trees and flowers perk up
and bask in the warming rays
the world lazy and sluggish
wakes up and looks around

Stifling a tired yawn
and stretching limbs
wake up all!
summer is here


27. Script Frenzy pages = 16   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: And Then There's NothingThe world is quiet
its voice subdued
but peace is not yet
it still will elude

It cries and bleeds
and sheds and rains
and now it feeds
on its remains

No life is left
no joy no fun
the world's bereft
it mourns its sun

It is a sun
that shall not rise
and saw, were none
of its demise

All's dark and cold
all's still and bleak
all turns to mould
all's foul and reek

And then there's nothing


28. Script Frenzy pages = 16   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: AutumnSummer has gone
all has grown sad
trees crying leaves
into pools of decay

The feeble attempt
to lure summer back
by growing a colorful hide
had not yielded fruit

Autumn has come
ferocious and cruel
bending their branches
whipping them raw

At last what remained
were barren sticks of wood
stripped of beauty and glamour
clothed in misery.

The trees then shut down
awaiting the time
when autumn will go
and they shall be free to grow


29. Script Frenzy pages = 16   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: Nothing And No OneThere once were two small boys
had nothing but old toys
their bodies fair and slim
their faces gaunt and grim

They had no mom and dad
no friends or foes they had
no teachers pets or plants
no clothes, not shirt nor pants

They had nothing to eat
no challenges to beat
so all they did is sit
at times they walked a bit

But mostly they'd just gape
at one another's shape
identical they'd been
for their own eyes had seen

Their visage was alike
of just a little tyke
the everlasting frown
brought both their smiles down

Their movements that which
were same in every twitch
they spoke the same way too
for one were they not two

They stood, their fig


30. Script Frenzy pages = 16   , NaPoWriMo poem of the day: At Journey's EndWe're tired scorched and bare
no travel left to do
ran out of time to spare
ran out of money too

Been all over the map
we've done all sorts of stuff
but caught in our own trap
returning chains and cuff

And once again our mind
grows slow and weak and numb
now thoughts are hard to find
again we're all too dumb

We had our joy and fun
went down the river bend
climbed mountains bathed in sun
but we're at journey's end.


and so ends April. NaPoWriMo won and Script Frenzy lost miserably... again. do better next year :(

hope you guys enjoy the poems.
  • Mood: Eager

Journal History

deviantID

~AspiredWriter
Eddie
Artist
Israel
Long to write, Desire to be great! any tips suggestions and comments to aid this goal will be greatly appreciated

Favourite style of art: optical illusions
Personal Quote: if hell were cold and i'd be bold i'd stride right through before i'm old
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Friends

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconpenguinyunicorn:
^^ Me gustas tu
Reply
:iconevlydia:
=Evlydia Jan 3, 2013  Student General Artist
:stare: Never let me hear you complain about it being too cold in the winter now. My math teacher has been leaving the windows open a crack and it's below freezing. :paranoid: Time to start wearing leggings under my jeans. Fuck winter.
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
hey hun. good to hear from you. i'm so glad it's not THAT freezing here. but for me this is pretty damn cold. especially with my nudity ;)

finally got my matress! :dance: (after a month of waiting for it) so i should finally get a good night's sleep (no more sleeping bag :happybounce: )
Reply
:iconevlydia:
=Evlydia Jan 3, 2013  Student General Artist
:bucktooth: You can't go naked in the winter here. Granted, I wear a lot more clothes than other people...leggings, jeans, cami, shirt, and coat all day...and I still freeze.
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
well you have to get naked once in a while. everyone does for showering, changing clothes and sex at least
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconliliwrites:
`LiliWrites Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: How are you doing Eddy?
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
hey lily :glomp:

i'm doing great! (well mostly) just moved out of my parents' (and about time too) this last weekend. been setting things up, cleaning, putting things away... etc. just put in my internet connection up this morning and was running errands all day so no is the first time i'm using it :happybounce:

magnificent view and plenty of space for just me plus it's a cool apartment but it lacks the essentials such as a washing machine, bed, fridge... and i haven't still managed to get those. :( very very urgent... plus i'm on an extremely tight budget so barely food and light.

still have things back at my folks' place. went twice with full car-loads and one load by hand on busses and still have maybe two carloads to go... going to take as much as possible on my little back. can't wait till all that is done with and i'm fully settled in.

didn't finish nano again :( but i think i have a good story going and i'm going to continue writing it once i'm settled in properly. it's my big project :aww:

so how are you doing?
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
`LiliWrites Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
lol I saved up just over $2K when I moved out of my dad's house. I spent 1000 on rent, deposit, setting up utilities, etc. The rest of it disappeared in "necessities" like bleach, toilet paper, towels, etc. I bought things for a month, I swear. It was totally worth it though. :P
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
holy shit! how did you move out with only $2k? :faint: and you managed to buy everything you needed to start out with that? omg! i've spent about half as much on a washing machine, mini fridge and cheapo matress alone! (none of which has yet arrived. hopefully tomorrow the appliences at least)

i'm lucky i had some stuff already like a microwave oven and hot plate or i'd have to spend $5k most likely on all that shit.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsafyresky:
~SafyreSky Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the llama! :D
Reply
:iconcalumdc:
~CalumDC Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Many thanks for the Llama
Reply
:iconwalkingconflict:
hey! how are you?
Reply
:iconkarlmiller:
~karlmiller Jun 18, 2012   Photographer
thanks for the :+fav: on [link]
Reply
:iconwalkingconflict:
hey...

arent you talkin to me anymore...i came home early today so i can write to you but you didnt reply to my note...this is a slow week for the ofice so i thought i'd still be able to write...

if you dont want to write back to me or talk to me its fine or you just dont have the time but i would appreciate it if you would tell so i wont worry about you...

are you okay?
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
i sent you a note.

not really, never been ok in my life but it's definitely a pothole i'm in. but it's nothing for you to worry about. i'll be here (even if you aren't)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconebrius-art:
~Ebrius-ART Jun 10, 2012  Hobbyist
Very nice stuff do you have here
Reply
:iconevlydia:
=Evlydia Jun 4, 2012  Student General Artist
:icontardhugplz:
Reply
Add a Comment: