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About Deviant Artist Member EddieMale/Israel Group :iconhow-do-i: How-Do-I
 
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a part of story i had written

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Gamma Draconis ch01p02 by Allantiee

ok, here's a small tidbit of what i think. not great with visual art so i'll give it my best shot. one thing that bothers me here is th...

Love Song by reiashford

first off i must point out that i'm not that knowledgable with visual art however i'll put my two cents in here. that thing on the righ...


:bulletpurple: well i don't know how this was before the edit (if you edited anything more than that one word) however you managed to show the event...

Critiques i have given out

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Sepia revised by AspiredWriter
Sepia revised
similar to this: <da:thumb id="493751391">

but taken again after a bit of feedback. thanks :iconbotkin:


All rights reserved, do not copy or use in any way without explicit permission from writer - Eddie Domingez. (AKA AspiredWriter)

I sure would appreciate any comments and critiques you may have to aid me in improving, thanks.


:iconcritiques-requested:
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Sepia by AspiredWriter
Sepia
no sepia effect, honest!



All rights reserved, do not copy or use in any way without explicit permission from writer - Eddie Domingez. (AKA AspiredWriter)

I sure would appreciate any comments and critiques you may have to aid me in improving, thanks.


:iconcritiques-requested:
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Cars rush past in the other lanes. I can see them clearly through the glass but I roll down the window nonetheless. Air rushes inside and the cars become more real. I can feel every one zooming by. Yet it's all a blur. Everything. Life. It seems to zoom by but at the same time it seems to stand still. All colors seem to be grey, all warmth chill me to the bone. I feel the wind grazing my wet face.

I see her face swimming in front of me not as it was an hour ago with a tube in her mouth and bruises so bad barely an inch of skin was visible. No, I see it as it was before the accident: cream skin, brown eyes, dark chestnut hair and a smile that was irresistible.

It was not just a figure of speech. She truly was irresistible. I never could deny her that extra candy, that expensive toy in the shop window, the car keys. I can only wish I had been stronger. It was my fault she drove that night. Her fate was my doing. She had, the doctor had told us, no brain activity. "No hope of recovery" he said. "Stable but permanent". This is how she would have been henceforth and forevermore. It was not living. The doctor had said that the choice lied with me but was there really ever a choice?

I look to my left. Bart's hands are shaking on the steering wheel. His eyes are so wet I don't know how he can even see the road ahead.

Our love over the years had never diminished. Despite all I had heard of married life, our passion for each other has not subsided a smidgeon in all those years. But now the heart was hollow. Empty of anything but darkness that grew and threatened to overwhelm.

I glance into the front mirror. The image of Massey crying silently in the backseat reflects my own feelings.

An image flashes into my mind: Massey and her older sister Janet, their arms around each other posing for the camera. We had been on vacation and Lake Michigan was gleaming behind them as they stood on the edge of that jetty. Janet, being the playful girl she was, pulled backwards just as Bart pressed the button. The camera caught them as they fell together, Massey getting dragged back by her sister. The picture, still standing on a mantle back home, had failed to capture neither the splash as they hit the water nor the ten minute water fight that followed. It had also failed to capture the ride home, Janet's leg wrapped in a towel that grew red from the wound where it banged against that sharp rock.

For a moment I am there. Our vacation cut short, Bart driving us home, me sitting beside him with the window rolled down, Massey sitting in the backseat next to... nothing. There is nothing there. No towel, no blood, no Janet. I'm thrown back to this moment so harshly I can't stop myself. I let out a howl and burst into renewed tears my whole body shaking against my seatbelt.

I feel warmth on my hand and I turn to see Bart's hand on mine, tears still running free down his cheeks. It's too much. I look back out the window and pull my hand away.

An ambulance passes us and I am back at the hospital entrance. We rush inside, Bart ahead of us, me half dragging Massey along, my arms wrapped around her. Bart hurries back towards us. "They just got her out of surgery, Second floor, room seven". Seven is heaven was one of Janet's most used phrases which she had pulled randomly out of thin air whenever the number seven came up. We rush into an elevator and before long we are rushing down a hall and bursting into a room. There are nurses fixing equipment, beeping machines, some with screens, some with knobs and switches. A banana bag is set beside a bed dripping a clear liquid down a tube, wires and tubes are being hooked up everywhere. Eventually the room empties out leaving us with a wrapped up figure lying on a medical bed. I edge closer throwing my purse to an empty chair. The figure is hardly recognizable, the face red and puffy and strewn with numerous scrapes and bruises and slashes. I see three gashes that had been sewn up and the lips chapped and weak. There was no trace of her hair under the wrappings on her head. Was this truly my daughter?

My mind skips ahead. I am stepping outside into a hospital corridor. Bart is standing there with a doctor. "As her parents it is up to you to decide." the doctor says to Bart but looking my way. "But what if she wakes up," Bart starts but falters as the doctor shakes his head. He looks very grim indeed. "There is no chance. Your daughter is gone. The machines keep her breathing and her heart beating but there is no brain activity whatsoever. It'd be an act of kindness to simply pull the plug. I am very sorry."

"I am very sorry" that's all he offered. Was that to make up for the fact that my daughter would die? Would it change the fact that it had been all my doing? And now I am to be the one to press the button.

I remember it. A switch. One flick and the machine died down. Very anti-climactic for such a moment. The moment my daughter... "Time of death," the nurse had said, what was it? All I remember was the seven. Seven is heaven. How did she know? and what had the doctor's words accomplish?

"I am very sorry" his words repeat in my mind. That's it? I'm sorry and she's gone? But then, what more was there? What words could undo what has been inflicted on Janet? The words reverberate around my mind as I stare out the window at the passing traffic. Nothing registers. Nothing of the goings on out there. Nothing of the goings on in here. Not even my own actions register.

"I am very sorry" the words come out my mouth this time though hardly audible. The rush of air intensifies through the open door and I am there no more. I am no more.

Seven Is Heaven
This is for :iconthewrittenrevolution: 's prompt: Left For Dead


All rights reserved, do not copy or use in any way without explicit permission from writer - Eddie Domingez. (AKA AspiredWriter)

I sure would appreciate any comments and critiques you may have to aid me in improving, thanks.


:iconcritiques-requested:
Click here to create a critique!


feel free to ask anything
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Hanging by AspiredWriter
Hanging
Trimmed and resized but otherwised as taken.

light shined on the spider skewed the white background to this sickly green color.



All rights reserved, do not copy or use in any way without explicit permission from writer - Eddie Domingez. (AKA AspiredWriter)

I sure would appreciate any comments and critiques you may have to aid me in improving, thanks.


:iconcritiques-requested:
Click here to create a critique!


feel free to ask anything
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At the edge looking out.
A fall as deep as creation itself.
No light on the horizon.
Forced forward by the tip of a sword.
The end is near.

The Finale
the end of ends



All rights reserved, do not copy or use in any way without explicit permission from writer - Eddie Domingez. (AKA AspiredWriter)

I sure would appreciate any comments and critiques you may have to aid me in improving, thanks.


:iconcritiques-requested:
Click here to create a critique!


feel free to ask anything
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with Eyes wide open, a brave person went to help and found the truth. seeing is believing:

www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1…
  • Mood: Disgust
  • Watching: the true nature of things

Journal History

deviantID

AspiredWriter
Eddie
Artist
Israel
Long to write, Desire to be great! any tips suggestions and comments to aid this goal will be greatly appreciated

Favourite style of art: optical illusions
Personal Quote: if hell were cold and i'd be bold i'd stride right through before i'm old
Interests

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Comments


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:iconspokenanddisclosed:
SpokenAndDisclosed Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch, dear :)
Reply
:iconspiderlondon:
SpiderLondon Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:wave:
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:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014
:wave:
Reply
:iconspiderlondon:
SpiderLondon Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
How are ya?
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014
ok, tired. soon to go to sleep. you?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconspokenanddisclosed:
SpokenAndDisclosed Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:licking:
Reply
:iconsky-91:
Sky-91 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
hey hey
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
hellos
Reply
:iconsky-91:
Sky-91 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
long time eh
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014
indeed. how're you?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondiamonds-dont-shine:
Diamonds-Dont-Shine Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your advice! :3
Reply
:icontaiyokaihybrid:
TaiyokaiHybrid Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
(F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)
=Fight alongside you
=Respect you
=Involve you
=Encourage you
= Deserve you
=Save you

Send this to all your friends and me if I'm one.
If you get 4 back you are liked, but if you get 7 back then you are seriously loved
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey...you're online right now. I saw you reply my comments XP 
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014
no, but i'm online now
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah rite. I don't see you anywhere in GBW! :stinkeye:
Anyway, I'm gonna collapse into bed now so nitez for now, honey. :huggle:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014
i saw you online! and then you left! :nuu: and then i left ('cause i had a class) and now you're gone again! :nuu: but now i have the whole weekend :w00t: but have so much to do... :faint: so let me know when you are on. i'll be mostly on probably :smooch:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconj-death-k-scythe-c:
j-death-k-scythe-c Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014
you're welcome :) :huggle:
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh...just realized that I missed your b'day (Or are you too busy fucking me in your head to notice that I forgot it? :slow:)

Anyways...Happy 30th birthday. :kiss:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014
Aww thank you :aww: :smooch: yeah that must be it =p or perhaps it is that i'm used to no one noticing/knowing/giving a fuck :shrug:

It'd be great to have a girlfriend that would care if i lived or died and would notice the difference but i'm used to my lonliness so if i want something it's up to me to do it. It is how my tradition of baking my own birthday cake started oh... i don't know... maybe half a decade ago.

I loved that you noticed (albeit half a week later ;p )

If you ever make it here i'll save you a piece of that year's cake. :aww:

:heart:
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're such a sweetheart :smooch:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014
Am i really?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Finally, a reply. :faint: Oh really? Do people really do that to you? That's sad...Don't worry then; I'm here. :)
 p.s. Did you see my note- the one that I just sent you?  
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014
There is no note :tears:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014
Do people do what to me? :o nope. You wrote me another note? :eager: i'll go check it out now
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Eddie, you have to help me...:'(
Reply
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