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About Me Deviant Artist Member AspiredWriterMale/Israel Groups group avatar #Written-Imagination
 
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Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 157 Deviations 3,022 Comments 6,956 Pageviews

Critiques

by ~Allantiee

ok, here's a small tidbit of what i think. not great with visual art so i'll give it my best shot. one thing that bothers me here is t...


first off i must point out that i'm not that knowledgable with visual art however i'll put my two cents in here. that thing on the rig...


well i don't know how this was before the edit (if you edited anything more than that one word) however you managed to show the event ...

Critiques i have given out

Groups

This April I took upon myself to do both ScriptFrenzy and NaPoWriMo. I'm also a frequent visitor at LITplease's chatroom: [link] where a new prompt is posted for every one of the 30 days of April. Please come in and say hello. I've been using these prompts for my daily poems. I've finished all 30 poems! You can see them in the list here.

I've had a difficult start with my ScriptFrenzy script but I managed to close the gap. Wrote 40 pages today and barely made it. Had to stretch the ending a bit. I will probably erase the end when I revise it. I'm submitting to dA all of my poems but not my script. If you care to take a look at them and maybe give some feedback I will be delighted :)

A list of my NaPoWriMo poems:
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:bulletgreen: DAY #01 The Basket
:bulletyellow: DAY #02 A Night Like This
:bulletgreen: DAY #03 On A Mission
:bulletyellow: DAY #04 Royo Coyo
:bulletgreen: DAY #05 Fleeting Colors
:bulletyellow: DAY #06 Being Gay - A Biased View
:bulletgreen: DAY #07 The Final Row
:bulletyellow: DAY #08 The race to save the world assailed.
:bulletgreen: DAY #09 Boomerang
:bulletyellow: DAY #10 The Poison Pill
:bulletgreen: DAY #11 Hot Liquid
:bulletyellow: DAY #12 Your Voice
:bulletgreen: DAY #13 The Devil Within
:bulletyellow: DAY #14 Color Blind
:bulletgreen: DAY #15 Distance
:bulletyellow: DAY #16 Martin Hill
:bulletgreen: DAY #17 Life
:bulletyellow: DAY #18 The Wrongs
:bulletgreen: DAY #19 Close Distance
:bulletyellow: DAY #20 Never Say Never
:bulletgreen: DAY #21 Long Death
:bulletyellow: DAY #22 Us
:bulletgreen: DAY #23 Imprisoned
:bulletyellow: DAY #24 Final Moments
:bulletgreen: DAY #25 Smudge Of Paint
:bulletyellow: DAY #26 Supreme
:bulletgreen: DAY #27 The Other Way
:bulletyellow: DAY #28 Misunderstood
:bulletgreen: DAY #29 End Of The Day
:bulletyellow: DAY #30 Friendship

April is just about over and I just barely managed to finish all 100 pages of my script! :dummy: it will need some revising but all in all I think it came out rather good :aww: not posting it though :shrug:

Everything else I've been shamefully putting off though I might start doing a bit more in the next few days. Maybe.

Journal History

deviantID

~AspiredWriter
Eddie
Artist
Israel
Long to write, Desire to be great! any tips suggestions and comments to aid this goal will be greatly appreciated

Favourite style of art: optical illusions
Personal Quote: if hell were cold and i'd be bold i'd stride right through before i'm old
Interests

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Comments


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Add a Comment:
 
:icontasadatostadas:
Mood: Joy ~tasadatostadas May 4, 2012  New member
amazing work. your writings are very descriptive and artsy. Great job!
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
thank you so much :aww: are you reffering to any in particular?

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:icontasadatostadas:
Mood: Zest ~tasadatostadas May 6, 2012  New member
Umm.. its hard to choose which one i like the best. I guess im referring to your overall style, its so powerful and u can see the message in it. Ur poems are so cool :D
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
thank you :blush: so you're reffering to my poems?

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconfallingasleeptonight:
~FallingAsleepTonight Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Clicked on "random deviant" and it sent me to you!
I write non-melodramatic free verse poetry, something that (I hope) people can find enjoyable even if you aren't a lit fanatic (just in case you're interested):P

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"It is preferable to do a dull thing with style than a dangerous thing without."
-Charles Bukowski
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"Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill."
-William Golding
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
hmm... i'm more into prose than poetry but it's sweet :aww: nice to meet you :wave: have you done NaPoWriMo this year? i just finished it myself.

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconfallingasleeptonight:
~FallingAsleepTonight Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I write a little prose too, I kind of skip across genres

--
"It is preferable to do a dull thing with style than a dangerous thing without."
-Charles Bukowski
--
"Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill."
-William Golding
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
i go all over myself. from prose to poetry to scripts to photography and digital art and fractals and traditional arts. i like a bit of each though mostly i like writing prose and seeing beautiful pictures and videos. i looked at your page. wow! is there a lit group you are not member of? i found at least five or six that i'm in too including Written-Imagination which i'm a contributor of...

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconevlydia:
=Evlydia Apr 27, 2012  Student General Artist
:poke:

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Check out my Pagan group [link]

....So am I to understand there is, in fact, no bunny? :grump:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
:hug: i'm there if you want to talk :aww:

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
=Loza-Muse Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Halloooo :3

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What is life without a dream? Just an endless cycle of
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Join: #Written-Imagination where there's a competition for points! And more!
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
:aww:

--
:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
=Loza-Muse Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
How is thee?

--
What is life without a dream? Just an endless cycle of
--
Join: #Written-Imagination where there's a competition for points! And more!
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
ok. how goes the contest judging?

--
:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconknittedbunny:
*KnittedBunny Apr 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Hey there! It's great to have you as a new member of #being-bi, and we are all looking forward to getting to know you and your art better. If you have any questions, concerns or suggestions, please be sure to let me or our founder ~Asphalt-Angel know! As it is, we have an FAQ, a number of discussion topics, a resource list for bisexuals, a very large gallery, a chatroom, and an upcoming support team. We hope these resources are useful to you!

--
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery / None but ourselves can free our minds
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
hey i should also mention one more thing i've just noticed. in the rules it says not to use group notes. finding the founder and contributors is no easy feat. there's no mention of you guys, of who is running the group. people in charge should always be accessible. thankfully i kept this note so i could use it to find you (my memory is not the best) and i gathered that asphalt is in charge from the fact he's the one doing the posting of journals. however it's a bit like solving a mystery... just fyi...

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconknittedbunny:
*KnittedBunny Apr 20, 2012  Student General Artist
We're glad you could be of help too XD feedback is always great! And I'll forward your new comments to AsphaltAngel (who's a girl, just fyi!) and we'll see what she can do about it :) thanks!

--
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery / None but ourselves can free our minds
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
thank you for the greeting :aww:

i'm grateful to be a part of being-bi. however i do have something to say about the main page. it bothered me even as i was joining and it almost made me not join. the rules (which are nescessary) are written in my opinion in a rather negative way. it made me feel like i may not be welcome. it's extremely aggressive. also, i think there should be a welcome note to all that visit the page. it's great to get this message after joining but it'd be great to have a nice message on the main page of the group. a good example for this would be your affilliate: :iconthe-da-advice-line: that i also joined after following the link from being-bi's home page. it makes a great deal of difference to be greeted.

other than that, i'm glad that there is a home for bi people. and happy to be part of it.

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconknittedbunny:
*KnittedBunny Apr 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks so much for your feedback! I'm 100% certain that our admin AsphaltAngel doesn't mean to be at all negative, but I'll def pass on the message to her. And that's actually a really good idea about the welcome message on the main page - again, I'll tell her your thoughts. We're happy you could be part of our dA bi community :D

--
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery / None but ourselves can free our minds
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
were the rules re-written? i can't remember how they were exactly but they seem more positive now. so if it has changed since my last comment then i'm grateful you took me seriously and glad that i could be of help :aww:

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconevlydia:
=Evlydia Apr 4, 2012  Student General Artist
:shakefist: You left when I was in the middle of typing.

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Check out my Pagan group [link]

....So am I to understand there is, in fact, no bunny? :grump:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
i did? :ohnoes: what were you going to say?

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconevlydia:
=Evlydia Apr 5, 2012  Student General Artist
"Hi"

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Check out my Pagan group [link]

....So am I to understand there is, in fact, no bunny? :grump:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
oh... well...

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:wave: please, drop by and critique my work. it would be greatly appreciated! :worship:
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
=Loza-Muse Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

:tighthug: I hope you've had an awesome day! Sorry this is so late!

But happy birthdaay :party:

--
What is life without a dream? Just an endless cycle of
--
Join: #Written-Imagination where there's a competition for points! And more!
Reply
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