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About Deviant Artist Member Eddie (Pen name)Male/Israel Group :iconhow-do-i: How-Do-I
 
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a part of story i had written

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Gamma Draconis ch01p02 by Allantiee

ok, here's a small tidbit of what i think. not great with visual art so i'll give it my best shot. one thing that bothers me here is th...

Love Song by reiashford

first off i must point out that i'm not that knowledgable with visual art however i'll put my two cents in here. that thing on the righ...


:bulletpurple: well i don't know how this was before the edit (if you edited anything more than that one word) however you managed to show the event...

Critiques i have given out
May update! April is over. once again I've failed ScriptFrenzy but I succeeded in NaPoWriMo so the glass is half full.

so here is a prompt list I've concocted shortly before April and the corresponding poems I've written each day. I've written a couple of them too late but all together I finished on time:

script: cartoon: a sparrow's adventures. maybe I'll write that one someday.

prompt and poem list:

1. fennec
  To Be Freeand as the sun went down
so life went underground
except a little one
that didn't crave the sun
as soon as it grew dark
on grounds so bare and stark
a little fennec chased
his prey that fled post haste
and as his prey was caught
the strangest sight was brought
by desert lands and night:
a girl that tread so light
that she had left no sound,
no footprints on the ground
for anime was she
as far as he could see
another step he took
and gave the girl a look
so clear and harsh and brief
of fear and disbelief
and then prepared to flee
for danger he could see
but then the girl spoke loud
in voice so free and proud
hello my little friend
this here is not your end
your life has just begun
there is no need to run
my name is Lizzy Chan
and I have drawn this land
I made the cliff and plain,
the lack of snow or rain
i used my special pen
and drew all this terrain
and you are also mine
the prime of my design
but I have come this day
to take us both away
for though you're my creation
my mere imaginat

2. haroset
AquaIt was a time of grief
departure was so brief
they rose and picked their feet
and walked into the heat
The sun had stroked their head
for water they had prayed
and many years since then
a time of tradition
We crush and mix and make
no bread nor pie or cake
for water shall not scour
where there may be some flour
But out of driest days
abundant water stays
while flour goes away
a week hence from today
So water fills our food
and raises our good mood
and to remember days
when Egypt thrived off slaves
We make our own concrete
but not to build, to eat
haroset we now get
not dry but blissfully wet
There's more food, by the way
but those another day
will get their proper place
haroset we now taste

3. martians
Pursuit Of KnowledgeUpon a summer day
a rover drove away
across deserted ground
that no man ever found
It had a bit of strife
when trying to find life
and little did he know
that life abundant grows
For scouts had taken heed
to still remain concealed
until one lost his grip
and fell and broke his hip
And now the strife had set
though wasn't spotted yet
the Martian rose a cloud
of dust that made a shroud
And though he couldn't be seen
the rover did then glean
that something troubled ground
and came to poke around
The other Martians tried
to go be at his side
but they were forced to stare
between them naught but air
And so distraught he fled
across the flattened bed
of rock and dust and grit
he limped and skid a bit
for frozen ground was it
the same as every bit
he had to hide post haste
for rover now gave chase
It flew across the plain
before upon him rained
a pile of stones galore
that smashed and yanked and tore
And so the Martians kept
mars life under their belt
the rover's good and gone
but there was s

4. in omnia paratus
Final WishI lay upon the ground
without making a sound
a silver dagger stuck
from where my killer struck
and as I shake and shiver
nearby I hear a river
in fluid motion goes
but where it goes who knows?
it starts from mountain tops
from underground and rocks
and through a crevice goes
and down to here it flows
my son stands overhead
I know that I am dead
so I bequeath to him
my final greatest dream
I tell him he should flee
to stay alive must he
to hasten step as well
and finish this farewell
I wish he spends his life
with love of kids and wife
I've known no amicable death
but he shouldn't be bereft
for time will circle through
life will revolve anew
and day will come where he
will be the one to leave
but until that day,
is all I have to say,
have a cosseted life
with friends and kids and wife
but always stay alert
don't let yourself be hurt
leave nothing to its fate
be predator not bait

5. inhabitants of the future
After The Futurebefore their eyes a sight
of splendor, verve and might
of building miles high
with terraces nearby
it stood all huff and proud
with glowing lights inside
no larger it could be
its ends they could not see
they followed curve and line
until it was so fine
a human eye could not
perceive the tiny dot
they turned a tiny knob
and felt a sudden throb
as down the building went
into the ashes sent
a new future arose:
revelation of nature now shot upwards no longer disturbed by man's hands.

6. co-fee
The Price I Paythe price I pay for vile drink
no light of day, to sleep I sink
for up I stayed all night long
games I've played I know it's wrong
I should be bound to blue delight
but sleep I've found, as black as night
I wake too late at home must stay
for boat has sailed, the price I pay.

7. nude self portrait
ChillBlackness comes. A gust of wind blows, chilling me to bone.
As death sets in, the night that came and passed, reverses flashing through my mind.
Rain stops, leaving scent of freshness behind, mingling with salty sea.
Early morning light beams through wisps of mist.
In dimmest light I make out freshly drawn art.
I am standing tall without garment or cover, free as the torrential rain beyond.
Yet I am a deviant of life, precluded, accidental.
As darkness ebbs away I lay my pencils to rest,
my creation is done yet I am curtailed.
Stars shine dimly through a shroud of rain, gushing into the night - an endless void.
My naked form sits against the wall, hand moving across paper turning white to black.
Pencil touches paper, eyes ahead looking back through glass.
Muscle glimmers, skin glows and curves gleam back off of a shiny doppelganger;
an exact replica but reversed, my missing half. Hand roams across clear blank white.

8. battle between myself and alter ego
To Stay Or Not To Stay?Your home feels like mine I know it so well
your friends are mine, and so is your family
and when I am with you I am safe
when I am with you I am free
Like heroin you are to me keeping me numb
you pull me towards you begging for love
the closer I get the further I slip from life
you leave me stranded in a cold dark room alone
But I do love you. How can I not?
You're so full of life and love, kindness and beauty that never sleep.
What do I need of real life when it's made of sadness?
Why must I keep my distance when all that waits is loneliness?
Will loneliness be eternal? Only if I stay with you.
The joy you bring is short lived and cold.
Your warmth that shines from across seas cannot reach me
for I am drowning in a dark pool and you are closing the lid above.
What am I to do? My soul torn in half.
Neither can live without the other, for the body is one.
The two halves collide in an explosion of color so vivid and bright as imagination bleeds dry.
One half floats in vacuum of space wh

9. writing this poem
Where No One GoesI write about how strong I am between these forest trees.
Alone I stride to forest deep where no one comes to prey,
for I am weak but here I'm strong but here I cannot stay.
Where no one follows, no one knows, where no one goes but me,
I am a god of my domain where feelings can run free.
I run my hands on barks of trees, I breathe the forest air,
and then I sit on ground and write a poem of my despair.
I write about my thoughts and dreams of place that no one sees,

10. rain in the desert
Writer's BlockAnd down it comes to wash them out,
my words, my thoughts sans fear and doubt.
The desert ends and it appears,
a flood of passions wraths and fears.
So long I've thirst in ruthless drought,
it's time for change, I come about.
I type on keys and through you goes,
my every thought, my truths and woes.
And save them then forevermore,
it's out there now through open door.
No turning back, no bowing out,
the flood's now gone, again a drought.

11. the four elements: wind, water, earth, fire
ChallengesZany zephyr zips with zeal
Though a plethora of Panchaxes parries through perilous pools
As blithering and blistering blazes burn a bit
But grassy ground gives glee to gazelles

12. llama-flamingo hybrid
The RealStanding in awe of the herd,
a combo of llama and bird.
I'm frozen by pink fluffy wings
and a great many other things.
They screech and bounce,
they spin and pounce.
Vivacious they are
and not all too far.
For one moment there,
I am light as air
and then I am struck
by one little buck.
Too out of control,
he jumped kicked and rolled.
I'm laid down in dust,
my mind left to rust
And as vision goes,
my mind conjures rows
of memories galore,
repressed, now no more.
I'm going to class
and they're here alas;
tormentors of years,
evokers of tears.
Familiar feeling
of hurling and keeling,
of drowning for air,
of fear and despair.
My mind makes up stuff
with wings of pink fluff.
They're llamas with wings,
flamingo that sings.
Hybrids they are,
and best of all far
from hell's demons' reach.
Myself I now teach.
This road I must take,
and though it's all fake
it beats all that's real
I don't have to feel.

13. misdirected anger
Reconciliation Latercome here thy lovely meal
upon my waking hour
my sleep was bad I feel
my dreams were cold and sour
but now awake I am
I know she's not to blame
I'm ready for your grace
while cherishing your taste
the couch was mine tonight
for mad was I this day
and we had had a fight
and much I had to say
and her I ought to hear
but never mind all that
my lovely breakfast's here
so I'll ignore the spat
for all I need is here
magnanimous of mounds
my plates so full I fear
to spill it on the ground
 must eat it all post haste
before it gets ice cold
won't miss a single taste
or it'll be growing mould

14. misdirected action
Escapelying on the ground
making wounded sound
bleeding black and blue
boy, just look at you
then the streets you roam
make your way back home
cursing bully's name
soaked with pain and shame
a pack of dogs' shrill bark
as you move through the dark
the bully'll get his due
but not ever by you
your body is too weak
your future seems so bleak
you spot from way afar
two lights that of a car
and as the lights grow near
your anger turns to fear
the car shriek wildly but
the impact couldn't be stopped
before help could arrive
you were no more alive
you have escaped today
the bully had his way.

15. whirlpool
AfloatI float forever upon the seas
clinging to a black rubber tire
I rolled it to the beach with the slightest ease
to escape a forest on fire
But after many days alone
with naught to eat or drink
When the sun had brightly shone
had brought me to the brink
And just when hope was all but lost
the sky turned grey and rain fell down
The wind had shown my real cost
enormous swells tried me to drown
But what brought on the real end
the sea was no longer asleep
The ocean water did then bend
in spirals into the deep
And as the whirlpool gripped my tire
despite my very best
The situation bleak and dire
I'd gone to my final rest

16. ABCs
Drowning Out The CollectiveAll day long I have to watch over you all
Between the lot I am lost from my life
commas, colons and conjunctions are grouped in clauses and the rest are left as complements for the few
direct objects fly hither and thither just skimming the hubbub
exclamation breaks my lips as I am tossed and turned
feelings run high with adjectives and adverbs as my voice is drowned out.
grammar attempts to dictate the proceedings giving insufficient instructions in desperate attempt to maintain order
here I am! I shout but to no avail. no one sees me.
interjections,help me get through! let them pay attention to me!
just the slightest whisper is heard over the hubbub and I am silenced as I try for the smaller ones
kernings wiggle about. please help me make sense of the mess! why do you ignore me?
letters they make into beautiful shapes
modifiers cling onto them like infants to their mother's bossoms.
Nouns are scattered around, and I wander between them as they are strewn across the landscape like dea

17. amputated
Ghost ArmArm shrieks in pain
Set on fire it is now dead
Paying a cab driver to get me to the hospital
I scream for help until nurses come
Rushing through corridors
Emergency room flies open
Doctors follow and in a moment I doze off
Waking up I am in another room
Reaching for the bedcovers does nothing
Instead of my arm all I have is plastic
The prosthetic is more mangled than my dead arm
Everything that was, comes back at once
Rushing through me including my missing arm.

18. diamond flaw
The Flaw In LoveMy life with you is grand
my love for you is strong
my time is wisely spent
I knew it all along
You make my life worthwhile
you make my heart go fast
you are my one desire
relationship to last
You are a diamond but
alas there is a flaw
we never actually met
and you I never saw

19. satisfying
Wavesit's never been enough
there's only one more thing
if I am to enjoy
my somewhat plain living
to sail amongst the waves
as people say goodbye
the love then I will feel
and be prepared to die.

20. hidden behind a mask
A Walk To RememberThe camera snaps once more
as through the open door
her father holds her hand
as music plays the band
They make their way up front
I try to hold a grunt
as I relive my fears
my eyes are filled with tears
She reaches man in suit
and takes his hand instead
they face a minister
and soon they will be wed
I snap another shot
but stand this I cannot
as vows they swear aloud
before the happy crowd
She's beautiful today
but I can't run away
so pictures I just take
and pleasant mood I fake

21. 11 out of 20
AbyssI float into the room
and face almighty god
and as he says my name
I verify and nod
How goes it? He then asks
I don't know what to say
it's always boring here
the same each every day
The afterlife I've learned,
unlike what I was told
is empty and mundane
and I am very bored
I list all my complaints
but he puts up his hand
he tells me not to worry
this isn't the Promised Land
It takes a little time
to send my soul on back
he's all backlogged by now
and time, this god does lack
It takes him twenty years
connecting high and low
so in nine years from now
it'll be my turn to go
I'm sent out of the room
to float in the abyss
I have nine years of nothing
that I would love to miss.

22. last wish
Last Wishall I want is to be at peace
all I want is to float forever
all I want is to be set free
all I ask is that you send me off
all I ask is to sleep with the fishes
all I ask is to fly like a bird
honor my wish to be free of life
honor my wish to just let go
honor my wish to see you no more

23. wandering in cold winter
CominglingWind blows through the long deserted dark stretch
it flows up at the entrance and into the sky
swirling around grabbing flecks of snow and tossing them haphazardly
it rushes through the garden rustling leaves of evergreen trees
sliding along slick snow lifting cloaks and coats of aimless stragglers left outside
It explodes in a rage whipping faces and ripping branches
shooting ice and snow at those who dare stand its presence.
reaching the shore it meets its lover of old
water reaches to embrace the wind and they swirl together their passion untamed
like wild beasts they huff and howl they sway and jar and reach many peaks
together they go, moving as one, wind sinking into sea, sea rising into air mingling and merging
as one they go to conquer those who invaded their privacy. This time they will finally be left alone.

24. pencil, stylus and brush
Birth Of A BirdScraping along an empty page leaving streaks of grey
shapes form, and merge from nothingness into life
where once there was nothing, now a dim bird chirps
dipping into cups, moving against paper leaving streaks of blue
color sprouts into vibrancy in lush dreams
where once there was black and white now  vivid sapphire gleams
scratching on black rigid surface a bird morphs
from behind glass it transforms, a flat ruff blur into sharp crisp life
where once was graphite and paint, now stands a bird free to fly away

25. being a snail
Tinyamongst the stems of flowers
for many many hours
he slides along his trail
a little tiny snail
a man then passes near
the snail is snagged on leg
the snail holds on for dear life
and screams and cries and begs
please let me off this ride
goes into shell and hides
his mighty shouts and screams
disperse in the wind as the slightest whisper

26. zest
Lemonin bright and shiny sun
it grows with love and fun
in kitchen it is used
our palettes are amused
it can be scraped for flavor
or squeezed for equal measure
its color yellow bright
is just one more delight
its scent is utilized
for it is widely prized
its tartness will enrich
the taste of any dish

27. burning up
Manic Mondayas the sun sets I come to rest
the day is done at last
too long it always is
too tired am I
and as I slump I'm burned up
I'm ash and soot and tomorrow I will rise again

28. deceived
WingsI strap the wings on tight and start to run uphill
and when I reach the edge I leap into the air
and as I soar above I flap my new found wings
I shoot high into space much faster than a rocket
The sun is up ahead I'm blinded by the light
but fascinated still I keep the course the same
and as I'm close enough to touch the scorching ball
my waxen wings melt down and I begin to fall

29. the monkey in the mirror
The Monkey In The MirrorAs I stand before the mirror
with a suit and tie
looking back at me
is a monkey wearing a turban
As I stand before the mirror
with a diamond ring in my hand
looking back at me
the monkey holds another's hand
As I stand before the mirror
I feel the weight of my wallet
looking back at me
the other monkey steals the first's banana
As I stand before the mirror
with bunches of tool behind me
looking back at me
the second monkey covered with dust
I bolt through the door
leaving the monkeys behind

30. stream of ice
Warming UpFrozen water pelting roads
striking with vigor at passersby for the moment
Liquid water massages streets
rubbing gently pedestrians all day long
Gaseous water suffocates boulevards
filling lungs of amblers drowning them forever


ok great. got that out. some fellas helped out coming up with the prompts in GBW love to you all! :blowkiss:

stamps from around dA after my own heart:

'Notes make me feel special' stamp by SynfullI love Feedback by Sweet-DooDoRequest - Above stereotypes by HarmonicSonicI Love Nature by WearwolfaaI Love deviantART Stamp by ViciousCherry<da:thumb id="522965839"/>Ocean love by AraulsStampsI love kawaii by prosaixI love Hugs - stamp by HavickTheLionI love to cuddle by pjukForever lazy by prosaixI Love Emotes Stamp by fear-the-brillianceGive a Llama, Get a Llama by mushir

my own stamps:
Just A Person Stamp by AspiredWriter Animal Love Stamp by AspiredWriter Man's Best Friend Stamp by AspiredWriter Bullying Stamp by AspiredWriter

Love to all you deviants out there :love:
  • Listening to: nickelback

deviantID

AspiredWriter
Eddie (Pen name)
Artist
Israel
Long to write, Desire to be great! any tips suggestions and comments to aid this goal will be greatly appreciated

Favourite style of art: optical illusions
Personal Quote: if hell were cold and i'd be bold i'd stride right through before i'm old
Interests

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Comments


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:icon8infinityx8:
8InfinityX8 Featured By Owner 6 days ago  New member Professional Photographer
Congratulations on completing NaProWriMo
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner 5 days ago
thank you dear
Reply
:icon8infinityx8:
8InfinityX8 Featured By Owner 5 days ago  New member Professional Photographer
Cx Heart 
Reply
:iconladyviv-1:
LadyViv-1 Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  New member
Gratz on completing NaPoWriMo! 
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
thankas :D
Reply
:iconobliviousstar:
ObliviousStar Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Liking your work so far.. You got some skillz and talent, I must say. Keep up the awesome job! :rose: :heart: :D
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
aww thankies
Reply
:iconobliviousstar:
ObliviousStar Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
:)
Reply
:iconkelcobi:
Kelcobi Featured By Owner May 6, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome job doing all 30 NaPoWriMo poems this year!
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner May 10, 2015
thank you
Reply
:icon8infinityx8:
8InfinityX8 Featured By Owner May 3, 2015  New member Professional Photographer
Hey, What is a good club that has competitions, I'm looking for a new club.
Reply
:iconsky-91:
Sky-91 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
=3
Reply
:iconlizzytheanimegirl300:
Lizzytheanimegirl300 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
what is a good name for a girl?
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2015
so many to choose from... jasmine, heather, amy, jennifer, zoe, millie... you're having a daughter?
Reply
:iconlizzytheanimegirl300:
Lizzytheanimegirl300 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
nope new OC.
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2015
:la: cool what is her origin?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconevevictus:
EveVictus Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the llama! :llama:
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015
my pleasure :D
Reply
:iconfmarockssomuch:
FMARocksSoMuch Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama hun~! =D
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015
no problems sweetums :D
Reply
:iconfmarockssomuch:
FMARocksSoMuch Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hehe~! =D
Reply
:iconelfvenartist:
Elfvenartist Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the llama
Reply
:iconaspiredwriter:
AspiredWriter Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
no problem :D
Reply
:iconamarantheans:
Amarantheans Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015
Hi, welcome to :iconpixelchallenges:, we are so happy that you joined our group! We have weekly challenges and can't wait to see what you can do to contribute to our group. So please take the time to look around and take a peek at our journals where we have great links to tutorials on the art of pixel making!

This is week 24, and if you would like to participate here is a link to the latest contest journal:pixelfairyhome.deviantart.com/…
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